


Promises

by ContinentalBlue



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens Angst, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens-centric, Anger, Angst, Bisexual Character, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Character, Heartbreak, Historical, Historical Lams, Kissing, LAMS ANGST, Lams - Freeform, Lesbian Character, M/M, Men Crying, POV Third Person, Promises, Slaves, Weight Issues, angsty lams, fluffy lams, lamilton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 16:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContinentalBlue/pseuds/ContinentalBlue
Summary: John Laurens stares at the wall of his rooms with empty eyes. His hand shakes as he holds Alexander Hamilton's letter proclaiming his marriage, his entire body shaking.Was he not enough?Of course, he wasn't.He was never enough.However, one Alexander Hamilton may disagree.





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> Daisy Gray's cover of "Wicked Game" is what inspired this fic.

John Laurens stared at the letter in his hands, a tear slowly snaking down his face.

His Hamilton-- _No, no, not his anymore_ , his mind whispered to him--Was engaged to be married to a woman named Elizabeth Schuyler.  He furiously searched his mind for where he went wrong.

Did he push Hamilton away?

Was he not enough?

He wasn't enough, of course, he wasn't enough, he was never--

 

His maid and cook Ellen Sawyer walked into Laurens's room and just simply held him, understanding his pain and cutting off his mental tirade.  Her eyes darted over the letter and her expression darkened with each word read.  She understood his silent pain, as tragic as the death of Icarus to his father. She understood, for, as she had said so many nights ago, not only men had interests in their own sex.

"You're in love with an Icarus who will do whatever it takes to survive, my dear. It appears that he has flown too close to the sun." 

John sobbed at those words, pushing his face into the crook of Ellen's neck. She comforted him, stroking a hand of his short hair. They sat there for a few minutes, as silent as the slow stream of a river. After those minutes were up, Ellen stood and murmured a soft "Wait here. I'll make tea."

"A-Alright, thank you, Ellen."

She simply smiled at him before going down into the kitchen. 

 

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door, startling Laurens out of his reverie. He wiped away his tears, stood up tall, and went to open the door. His father, Henry Laurens, slave James was standing outside, looking rather out of breath.

"Who is...Oh, James! What do you need? Come in, come in, man, Ellen's making some tea."

"I would not dare to impose, and besides, I need to give you a letter, sir. It is an urgent message from one Alexander Hamilton. I presume you know him?"

"Hamilton?" Laurens cursed his voice for shaking when he said the name.

"Yes, sir. Would you like me to draft a reply, sir? Or would you rather prefer to draft it yourself and have me send off the reply?" James looked somewhere to the left of Laurens.

"I should prefer you to come in, rest for a bit. Yes, that is what you shall do. Rest up for a few hours, have a meal, and send my reply to Hamilton. The letter?"

James handed him the letter with a soft "Here you go, sir."

"Thank you, James." Was all Laurens said as he walked up to his room in search of some parchment, ink, and quills. He pretended not to notice the worried glances Ellen and James threw at him. 

 

Once he found the necessary materials, Laurens got around to opening the letter. It read:

_My dearest, Laurens,_

  
_I grow weary of not having seen you for these some weeks. I shall see you in person if you are amenable within a few weeks. Please bring your response_ with _James. He certainly seems a brave and steadfast rider._

_Adieu, my love. I hope to see you soon._

_A.Ham._

Laurens saw red. How dare Hamilton call Laurens "dearest" when he was engaged to Ms. Schuyler? How dare he presume to care about Laurens when he had a perfect wife? How dare Hamilton act like he was in love with Laurens when he was engaged? Angrily muttering, Laurens wrote:  


_Hamilton,  
_

_I consent. I expect the letter shall take a week or so to arrive. Are you amenable to arrive within two weeks time? Do not respond to this letter; James will come to collect you. If you cannot, please send with James when you will be able to.  
_

_Adieu,  
_

_Your faithful Laurens_

 

"That should do it," murmured Laurens as he sealed the letter.

 

As he headed downstairs, Laurens smelled seasoned potatoes and pork frying in the fireplace. He raised his eyebrows. Surely the pork was old, or the potatoes rotten.  And where did Ellen get such spices? And in such quantity? Because of the war, it is not so easy to get spices.

But no, when he set upon the fireplace, the pork and potatoes seemed very fresh, though he had no answer for the spices.

"Ellen...?"

"Yes, John?"

"Where did you get these? The British invasion does not tilt in favor for pork, potatoes, and spices."

"Well...I know a few farmers. And one of my girls has a sailor husband who is just like you." Ellen blushes.

"Ah." Laurens does not miss the subtle _you_ and understands its meaning.

"Ah."

Laurens grins suddenly. "Well, better for us, at least." He takes a portion and places the sealed letter next to James.

"With all haste, James."

"Alright, sir."

James got up from the table, put his empty dish in the sink, and headed on out. 

Laurens tries to calm the anxiousness in his stomach.

* * *

 

 Exactly two weeks later, Hamilton arrives. Laurens wasn't prepared to see Hamilton, wasn't prepared to hear his voice, see his eyes, hear his eloquence.

"Jo--Laurens, you look well." 

Laurens scoffs and shoots back "As do you. Congratulations on your marriage--Make sure to send Mrs. Hamilton my well-wishes."

"May we speak in private?"

"Of course." Laurens leads them both to his room and shuts the door.

"Hamilton."

"Laurens. I have a wife now, would you like to--"

"No, Alexander! I-I..." Laurens trails off, tears stinging his eyes. He turns away from Hamilton, rubbing harshly at his eyes.

"Oh, I understand what this is about. Didn't I promise, Jack, that I would always love you?" Hamilton's voice is soft.

"Y-You did." The salty tears run down his face in earnest, and Laurens sniffles softly.

"Shh, my love. Though I do feel a deep affection for my Eliza, you will always be at the forefront of my heart. You will always be the sun to my flower, the wave to my ocean, the sweetness to my sugar. I promise."

"B-But what if you b-break that p-promise?"

Hamilton takes Laurens into his arms and presses soft kisses to the taller man's face--His lips, his brows, his cheek. He pets Laurens's shorter hair and murmurs "Charleston" into John's cheek. 

"Yes," Laurens affirms.

"Trust me, my love. You hold total reign over all of my heart and mind. I love you, dearest Jacky." Hamilton promises and continues pressing chaste kisses over Laurens's face.

Laurens relaxes fully and fiercely kisses Hamilton, for every second, minute, hour, and month spent apart.

Hamilton does not mind if the way he kisses back is any inclination. And his Laurens has any further doubts, he doesn't mention them later.


End file.
